An Uplifting Experience

A self explanatory tale by Mike Squire (June 1995).

How do other people get on in lifts when on their own and the buttons are too high or hard to push? I tend to 'quietly' loiter near lifts until an unsuspecting person presses the call button, walks into the lift and then follow in, saying "Oh, as you're here would you press..."

Well, the other week this cunningness backfired on me, in a hospital which has 8 lifts available but which are all linked so that only one is available on one floor at a time, causing some lifts not to be used very often (it's a bit technical but I hope you catch my drift). As normal I 'followed' somebody into the lift, but before I could say "Could you press the 2nd floor button", they decided to get out again, and to my horror the doors shut without any floor being registered and with buttons above my head -- well done NHS!

To start with, I was very calm and decided that soon the lift would be called and I would go to another floor, where someone would get in and press my required button. But, because there were so many lifts, the minutes ticked by and mine didn't move. Slowly claustrophobia began to set in, and being near the end of visiting hours I began to think of the headlines in the next day's local paper -- "Prat in wheelchair, stuck all night in lift that was working".

Often I carry a small wooden stick with a rubber on the end, whuch is very useful on occasions such as tthe one I found myself in -- unfortunately, it was sitting on my kitchen table at home. But being the resourceful guy I am, I held in my hand a freshly cut, smelling bunch of flowers, whose stems seemed remarkably like my stick. So I turned them upside down and held the bunch by the colourful heads and began poking the bottom of the stems at the 'door open' button. Finally it lit up red and the doors reacted, revealing a pathetic chap sitting in a lift with flower petals all over his lap and all over the floor!

My resourcefulness worked and I did get to visit my friend, but now owe him a bunch of flowers with the heads on!

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